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elephants

Delightful children's book, fun for all ages, about an elephant who sets out to write an encyclopedia:



The main story is peppered with curious encyclopedic asides both about elements of Marcel's memories, from music to technology, and about elephants themselves – we learn that an elephant sleeps very little at night, "usually standing, always on alert," and takes standing naps throughout the day; that an adult elephant needs to drink 30 gallons of water a day and eat between 220 and 440 pounds of food depending on the season; that an elephant can't jump and must have one foot on the ground at all times; that despite an enormous weight of about five tons, an elephant makes no noise while walking.

(The information in the children's book, unlike the video trailer, is 100% accurate)
Viaavail.

Lhasa in English, Spanish, and French




Con Toda Palabra (With every word)



Con toda palabra
With every word

Con toda sonrisa
With every smile

Con toda mirada
With every look

Con toda caricia
With every touch



Me acerco al agua
İ come closer to the water

Bebiendo tu beso
drinking your kiss

La luz de tu cara
the light of your face

La luz de tu cuerpo
the light of your body



Es ruego el quererte
İt's a desire prayer

Es canto de mudo
İt's a silent song

Mirada de ciego
A blind look

Secreto desnudo
A nude secret



Me entrego a tus brazos
I surrender to your arms

Con miedo y con calma
with fear and with calm

Y un ruego en la boca
and a prayer on my lips

Y un ruego en el alma
and a prayer in my heart



Con toda palabra
With every word

Con toda sonrisa
With every smile

Con toda mirada
With every look

Con toda caricia
With every touch



Me acerco al fuego
İ come closer to the fire

Que todo lo quema
let it burn all

La luz de tu cara
the light of your face

La luz de tu cuerpo
the light of your body



Es ruego el quererte
İt's a desire prayer

Es canto de mudo
İt's a silent song

Mirada de ciego
A blind look

Secreto desnudo
A nude secret



Me entrego a tus brazos
I surrender to your arms

Con miedo y con calma
with fear and with calm

Y un ruego en la boca
and a prayer on my lips

Y un ruego en el alma
and a prayer in my heart



La Marée Haute (High Tide)



La route chante
The road sings

Quand je m’en vais
When I leave

Je fais trois pas…
I take three steps

La route se tait
The road is silent



La route est noire
The road is dark

À perte de vue
As far as the eye can see

Je fais trois pas…
I take three steps

La route n’est plus
The road is no more



Sur la marée haute
Onto the high tide

Je suis montée
I climbed

La tête est pleine
The head is full

Mais le cœur n’a
But the heart has not

Pas assez
Had enough



Mains de dentelle
Laced hands

Figure de bois
Wooden face

Le corps en brique
Brick body

Les yeux qui piquent
Stinging eyes



Mains de dentelle
Hands laced

Figure de bois
Wooden face

Je fais trois pas…
I take three steps

Et tu es là
And there you are



Sur la marée haute
Onto the high tide

Je suis montée
I climbed

La tête est pleine
The head is full

Mais le cœur n’a
But the heart has not

Pas assez
Had enough


Rest in peace, Lhasa, (1972-2010), avail.

the underdog

A ridiculous number and variety of cummerbunds, thongs and panties are available ($25-$40) on the Pants for Dogs blog.

Via.
Also see puppy panties, ~$9.50.

save videos 2 ways

Savevideo.me lets you easily download YouTube videos.

Via.
See here.

Or, just type pwn in the html code to youtube web addresses:

See here.

Mr. T, arcades, Ice-T

Drinking and driving: Now an arcade game. (Keg on back of racing console), via & via. $6995


Ice Cube and Ice-T-adorned soda fountain. Via.



Also Mr. T tea bags, via:

Beijing

How to board a train in Beijing (via):





Stop-motion photography makes Beijing scenes look like a segment out of Mr. Rogers' neighborhood (via).


Also check out:

Smog in Beijing tears family apart.
Smog in Beijing relative to rest of world (yikes!).
China's brainstorming ideas to improve air quality.
Blame China for strange climate change weather.

Chuck Norris


Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.



Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista on his Etch-a-Sketch.

On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.



When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.


If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.


Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.


Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.


Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.

Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fucks up.

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.


Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first.

Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.