There is one other girl from Lafayette doing Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training.
I know Yoga is supposed to be all about acceptance and zen or something, but I've got to tell you, I just am really hating her. Hate is a strong word, I know. And I see so many good qualities in her. I even have pretty good conversations with her.
But she is completely manipulative, self-centered, and childish. It is infuriating.
When we became aquainted, she needed help with her algebra final at school. I tutored her for free. After the test, I never heard from her again, until she needed something. She heard about the teacher training from me, but signed up before me. WITHOUT KNOWING HOW SHE WOULD GET TO HOUSTON one weekend out of every month for eight months! When I signed up, she took it as a given that I would give her a ride. (There's another girl going to Houston from Houma, but she can't stand Jen either, so this whole transportation thing has been quite an issue since October). Jen once called me THE NIGHT BEFORE WE LEFT telling me what her schedule required, with absolutely no regard for the fact that I had already made plans. She wouldn't even acknowledge the fact that she was being unreasonable and inconciderate!
I won't bore you with the innumerable other selfish and unbelievable things that this bitch has done, but I've got to tell you, every time she does one of these things, I think I never want to talk to her again. Then she does the sweet thing and I forgive her then she pulls her shit again.
Why are we supposed to "forgive and forget"?? It just makes me go through this cycle of frustration over and over again!
I think I should "forgive and remember to avoid her" when possible. The forgive and forget thing, which I've been trying with Jen for a couple of years now, has not worked. I don't get as angry as I used to. Now when she tries to take advantage of my kindness I don't fall for it, and I even expect her to try to take take take...
But I'd rather just not be around her bullshit.
Which requires remembering. And frankly, I'm about out of forgives, too.
Yes, I was incredibly pissed. But I am miraculously over it.
I realized Sunday morning that the problem was that our relationship had somehow gotton to a point where there was no respect.
I decided that I was over everything, but I was also not willing to have a relationship without respect. (Of course, I also had spent the weekend doing Kundalini work, which probably also helped me get over it, and probably helped her get over it.) But I don't feel negative about the whole thing anymore, as long as that line isn't crossed anymore.
Oh God, look at me, doing it again! I hope there's something to that teaching! But really, it's not a *BFF* thing, just an "I'm over it" thing.